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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635305">because it's you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/minaasshido/pseuds/minaasshido'>minaasshido</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>six idiots and their skateboards [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SK8 the Infinity (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chinen Miya Being a Little Shit, Chinen Miya is a Good Friend, Episode Fix-it, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Kyan Reki, Kyan Reki Needs a Hug, M/M, Post-Episode: s1e7 We Don't Balance Out, Pre-Relationship, and he gets one!!!, because i think its funny, ft. my headcanon that miya swears like a sailor, i'm sorry reki, no beta we die like men, they care about each other so much</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:35:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635305</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/minaasshido/pseuds/minaasshido</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He's been left behind.</p><p>The realization hurts, settles deep in Reki's chest and just <i>aches</i>. What makes it worse is that he's sure that Langa doesn't even know what's happening. Reki had screamed at him in the pouring rain and all the other boy had done was stare back at him with that wounded expression. Langa hadn't meant to leave him behind. Langa had thought they were right beside each other the whole time. It isn't his fault what everyone else says. </p><p>Still, it hurts. It hurts so much.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chinen Miya &amp; Kyan Reki, Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>six idiots and their skateboards [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2207952</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1210</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>because it's you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Langa is like a monster, fierce and unstoppable, and Reki can't understand him. He can't make himself find excitement in the way that Adam gripped him tight and didn't let go, in the way he spun his board and put Reki is the emergency room. He can't force a smile on his face when he hears the others joke about how useless he is, or when Langa keeps getting better and better and he's stuck in place, useless, stagnant. </p><p>He's been left behind.</p><p>The realization hurts, settles deep in Reki's chest and just <i>aches</i>. What makes it worse is that he's sure that Langa doesn't even know what's happening. Reki had screamed at him in the pouring rain and all the other boy had done was stare back at him with that wounded expression. Langa hadn't meant to leave him behind. Langa had thought they were right beside each other the whole time. It isn't his fault what everyone else says. </p><p>Still, it hurts. It hurts so much. </p><p>Reki's mother fusses over him when he walks through the door, soaked to the bone and eyes fixed on the floor. He's almost glad for the rain because his cheeks are wet enough that she doesn't question the tears pooling under his chin. His hair is plastered to his face and he ducks away from her hands, sluggish and tired.</p><p>"I'm going to take a shower," he mutters. He shuffles off to his room to grab a towel.</p><p>He leans against the wall of the shower, mind wandering under the hot spray of water. He's got the heat turned up so high that it almost hurts. He thinks he should feel bad for being jealous, but really, that's not the case. He can't bring himself to be angry at Langa for all his talent. He'd have to be blind not to see how happy it makes him, to not notice that private little smile he gets when he lands a new trick or wins a race. He isn't mad at Langa for being happy. He's mad at himself for not being able to share that happiness. </p><p>Reki wants to be able to reach that stupid fucking star on the wall and high five Langa when he lands. But all he's left with now are a series of X's in the dirt and hands scraped from hitting the concrete too low. Langa is in a league of his own, and he'll never catch up. He wants to- gods, does he want to. But he knows that he isn't good enough. He knows that Langa is one in a million, and he's really only dragging him down. He's the weak link. He's just cutting ties now before Langa inevitably realizes he's dead weight and leaves anyway. </p><p>He doesn't even want to think about Adam. Just the thought of the man sends a shiver down his spine despite the thick humidity of the bathroom. He doesn't want to think about his stupid tournament, or the way Langa is obsessed with beating him, or how Langa plans to break his promise to Reki, maybe already has. He certainly doesn't want to think about what he almost said.</p><p>When Reki shuts off the water, his skin is red and hot to the touch. He barely even dries himself off before he drags himself to his bedroom and falls back on his bed. He doesn't bother getting under the covers. He just closes his eyes and tries not to think.</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>The next day he pretends to be sick. He must look awful because his mother doesn't even bother to check his temperature before calling the school to excuse his absence. </p><p>He thinks he might be depressed or something. Is this an overreaction? He isn't sure. Skating is what he's passionate about, and up until now he's considered Langa his best friend. Certainly, at least, one of his only friends. And now, courtesy of himself, he thinks he's lost both in one night. He feels like the world has been pulled out from under his feet. Whatever the case, he does know one thing for sure, and it's that there's no way he can sit next to Langa in class today and pretend like he isn't falling apart at the seams. </p><p>He's lying on the couch, a half eaten bowl of soup on the coffee table when the pounding on the door starts. He jolts at the sudden noise. He waits, because maybe it's Langa, but the knocking doesn't let up and that sort of insistence isn't really his style. He pulls himself up and goes to open the door.</p><p>Reki blinks. "Miya," he says. His voice is slow and scratchy.</p><p>Miya walks past him into his living room like he'd been invited. "You look like shit," he says pleasantly, and Reki turns around to see the younger boy peering up at him. He feels scrutinized. "Also, you're an idiot."</p><p>A bit awkwardly, Reki pushes the door closed and leans back against it. Without inflection, he asks, "What."</p><p>Miya raises an eyebrow. "I said you look like shit."</p><p>"No," Reki tells him, "why am I an idiot?" He ignores the urge to comment on his language- Miya's too small to be cursing so casually. But Miya could also probably kick his ass, so. "Why are you <i>here?"</i></p><p>The younger boy sighs loudly and plops down on his couch. "I'm here because Langa is moping. Why'd you break up with him?"</p><p>Reki chokes on air. "We-" he clears his throat. "We weren't together?" He winces at the way it sounds like a question.</p><p>Something like surprise crosses Miya's face, but it's gone in a moment. He rolls his eyes. "Why'd you friendship-break-up with him, then? He was all sad because you apparently told him that you guys weren't a good match anymore, or something? Which is stupid, by the way."</p><p>Reki hesitates, chewing on his lip as he contemplates an answer. Should he just be honest? It's not like he hadn't told Langa his reasoning. But then, shouldn't Miya already know why he'd said what he said? He looks down at the floor. "I just. He's so much better than me. I can't even catch up to him now, and he's only going to get better." He can feel Miya's eyes on him and he shifts uncomfortably. "It's stupid."</p><p>He probably could have said that better. Miya seems to agree, because he says, "So you're jealous he's so talented and that means you can't be friends? That's a dick move."</p><p>This time, Reki can't hold back his comment, desperate to change the subject. "Where'd you learn to swear like that? You're like, twelve."</p><p>"I regularly go to an abandoned mine to illegally race skateboards with adults and you wanna know where I got my potty mouth?" Miya asks. "Also, I'm fourteen. But that's not the point of this conversation." Reki shrinks in on himself, and out of the corner of his eye he sees Miya hop off the couch. "So are you? Jealous?"</p><p>"No," Reki says, then pauses. "Well. I am. But that's not why. It's- I'm only holding him back. You said it yourself, he's probably Olypmic level. He's so talented and I'm just..." he cringes, remembering the conversation he's overhead at S the other night. "I'm no one. He's better off without me."</p><p>There's a flurry of movement and suddenly Miya is right next to him, punching him in the arm hard with his little fist. "Ow!" Reki yelps, bringing a hand up to clutch at the offending area. "What the hell, Miya?"</p><p>"You're such an idiot!" Miya snaps at him. Reki stares down at him, wide eyed. "You think Langa gives a shit about any of that?"</p><p>There's a <i>pang</i> in his chest. "Yes," he frowns, looking away. "He has to. The fact that he still wants to race Adam again after everything proves it."</p><p>"No, it really doesn't," Miya says. He sounds so sure when he says it, all slow and annoyed, like he knows better than Reki. "You need to talk to him."</p><p>"I did," Reki says miserably.</p><p>"No, you yelled at him and then walked away before he could even think of what to say back," Miya tells him. "Did you even give him a chance to prove you wrong, or did you just assume he didn't want to?" Reki opens his mouth to argue, but then he pauses. Miya reaches over and closes his mouth with a smirk. Reki bats his hand away. "That's what I thought."</p><p>"What does it even matter?" Reki huffs. "He'll just realize I'm right sooner or later."</p><p>"No he <i>won't!"</i> Miya shouts. It surprises Reki how angry he is about this, fists clenched at his sides, glaring up at him like he wants to throttle him. "He doesn't want to leave you behind! You're his best friend! Don't just assume you know what he wants! Don't you dare walk away from him and act like it's for him when really you're just being a coward."</p><p>Reki startles at the accusation. "Miya-"</p><p>"There's no point being at the top if there's no one there with you." The anger is suddenly gone from his voice, and the younger boy stares at the ground, sullen. All at once Reki remembers every sideways glance, every downward curve of the mouth, and realizes with a jolt that Miya looks very lonely. He doesn't ever think he's seen him interact with anyone else except their strange little group. For the first time he wonders, does Miya even have friends?</p><p>"Do you-"</p><p>Miya cuts him off. "This isn't about me," he says, but all that does is make Reki think he might be right. "Look. Just because he's better at skating than you doesn't mean he's too good for you as a person. Langa isn't like that. So <i>talk</i> to him. Seriously. Do it or I'll kick you in the nuts, golem!"</p><p>"Okay, geez!" Reki gives in, subtly inching away to protect his parts. "Just- geez, leave my nuts alone."</p><p>Miya kicks at him, missing on purpose. "Talk! To! Him!"</p><p>Reki's eyes bug out. "What, right now?"</p><p>"Yes, you idiot! Right now!"</p><p>"But I-" Reki cringes, deflating. He feels so stupid. Quietly, he admits, "I don't want to call him."</p><p>Miya blinks up at him. "Oh, well, that's okay," he says. "He's outside."</p><p>"HUH? What do you mean, he's <i>outside?"</i></p><p>The younger boy looks at him like he's just asked if the sky was blue. "I mean he's outside, what the fuck do you think I mean?" </p><p>Reki sputters. "Yeah, but- but why? How long has he been here?"</p><p>"He got here with me," Miya tells him. Reki puts his face in his hands. "But it all worked out, see? Now you don't have to wait for him to get here so you can talk." </p><p>Reki groans into his hands. "What were you going to do if I refused to talk to him?"</p><p>Miya shrugs. "I was gonna send him in no matter what."</p><p>"Miya!"</p><p>"What? You're being stupid anyway." Miya tugs him by the arm and sits him down on the couch before turning right back around and marching over to open the door. "Langa, get in here." He steps back just enough to make space, and all of a sudden Langa is there. He stumbles like he's been pushed, and Reki thinks he hears someone say something from outside. </p><p>"Is that Shadow?" Reki asks. Langa's gaze shoots to him and he stares unabashedly, wearing that same, wounded expression from the night before.</p><p>"Langa wasn't gonna come on his own," Miya explains. "Turns out you're <i>both</i> idiots." Miya looks at Langa and he points at the couch insistently. Langa shuffles over, and it looks like he's going to stay standing, but a glare from Miya has him sitting. He's so near the edge he's barely touching the cushion, and he's at the complete opposite end from Reki, but it's a start.</p><p>Shadow's voice drifts through the door. "Do we need to mediate?" He sounds almost excited at the prospect.</p><p>Miya focuses his sharp gaze on the two of them. "No," he says, and it sounds like a warning. "If we sit and watch they won't do anything." He points an accusing finger in their direction. "You two. Fix it. Reki, tell him what you told me or I'm demoting you to a slime again." He turns on his heel and marches out the door. Reki is just able to hear him whine, "Gods, I feel like my parents are getting divorced," paired with Shadow's brash laugh before the door shuts behind him and the living room descends into silence. </p><p>Neither of them speak for at least a minute. Langa keeps sending him these guilty little looks out of the corner of his eye, like he's waiting for something, and it sort of pisses him off. After a few minutes the silence becomes suffocating and Reki caves. "Say something," he says, because he can't be the one to start this.</p><p>"Why aren't we a good match?" Langa asks. His voice is weak and pathetic sounding, like he's been crying. "What did- why don't you want to be friends anymore?"</p><p>Reki doesn't look at him. "I told you, didn't I?" he says to the floor. "You're on a different level than me. I'm bad for you." </p><p>When Langa speaks, there's a frown in his voice. "Why would you think that?"</p><p>"It's what everyone says." </p><p>Langa makes a frustrated noise. "That's not what I say."</p><p>"You will, though!" Reki's voice cracks on the last word and he buries his face in his hands. "You're already leaving me behind for Adam, and sooner or later you're gonna realize that I'm never gonna be able to catch up and it- I'm not worth it. This is all pointless. I'm not good enough. I'll never be good enough."</p><p>"That doesn't matter," Langa tells him. Reki still refuses to look up, but he can see Langa slowly moving closer in his peripheral vision. There's a short silence before he speaks again. "I'm not leaving you behind."</p><p>Reki sucks in a breath. "Then explain to me why you're so obsessed with Adam."</p><p>"Are you jealous?" Langa asks, sounding genuinely curious.</p><p>"No," Reki says. "I'm worried. Langa, he put me in the hospital without even touching me. And then you had to race him and it was all my fault, but then you did so good and now it's like you can't stop and I'm so scared that you're going to get hurt."</p><p>He actually does risk a glance at Langa this time, and he can see the deep crease in the other boy's brow. "Reki-"</p><p>"And I'm not stupid!" he barrels on. "Miya's like, afraid of him, or something. He's an asshole. He looked at a fourteen year old boy and told him he was nothing just because he lost a race! And he creeps me out, too. It wasn't just the danger of the race that scared me, it was how close he got, the way he held onto me and didn't let go like he <i>liked</i> it. Shit, he gave you flowers before your race! That's weird! You can't put yourself through that."</p><p>Langa stares at him. "If Miya isn't nothing just because he lost a race, then neither are you."</p><p>Reki wants to yank out his hair. "That's not- listen to me! Why are you so obsessed with beating him? Why can't you just get better on your own? You're already leagues above everyone else, you don't need one man's approval to mean anything."</p><p>Langa looks away, stares at the door like he wants to run. He might actually try it if Shadow and Miya wouldn't kick his ass if he did. Reki watches his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows hard, coming up with an answer. "I..." he starts, then closes his mouth. He clenches his jaw and tries again. "I love skating. I'm good at it and it's just like snowboarding and I get to do it with my friends. But Adam is- I don't like him either. I think... I think I just want to beat him and take him down a peg. I hate him for what he said to Miya. I hate him for what he did to you. And I want to make him pay by being better than him. If I beat the best skater at S while doing that, that's just a bonus."</p><p>"I don't want you to beat him," Reki says. "I want you to be safe. I don't care about all the other stuff." </p><p>"Safe but not happy?" Langa asks. Reki blanches in confusion. The other boy must notice the expression on his face because he continues, "What's the point if you're not there?"</p><p>It's so simple but the words hit like a punch to the gut, knocking the air out of him. "I..." he doesn't know what to say. "Don't you want to skate with someone better than me? Not Adam, but just. Anyone? Don't you feel like I'm holding you back?"</p><p>Langa moves closer. Their thighs are nearly touching now, and Reki holds his breath when Langa reaches over and presses his palms against his cheeks forcing him to look at him. He looks so serious. "I don't skate with you because you're good, I skate with you because it's <i>you,"</i> he says, and Reki bursts into tears.</p><p>Langa's eyes widen, the grip on his face slackening enough the Reki can shake it loose and turn away, hiding in the crook of his elbow. "I'm sorry," he blubbers, trying to catch his breath. He doesn't know what he's apologizing for. Everything, probably. He's fucked up so bad. "I'm so stupid. I feel useless compared to you."</p><p>"You're not," Langa assures him. Arms come to wrap around his shoulders, pulling him into the other's chest and he just goes with it, too exhausted to fight. "If you hadn't made me a custom board, I'd still be learning how to turn. Really, I should be jealous of you. You're so much smarter than me."</p><p>"That doesn't matter." Reki sniffles into Langa's shirt, and the irony of his statement doesn't escape him. But he's been at this for so long and it feels stupid to just give up so quickly. "You still learned an ollie in two weeks. It took me months. You've always been better than me."</p><p>"So what?" Langa says. "You said it yourself, I'm a prodigy."</p><p>Reki laughs wetly. "Conceited," he says.</p><p>He feels Langa's smile against the top of his head. "Just because one person is better than you doesn't mean you aren't still good. Besides, you taught yourself from scratch. I had a lifetime of snowboarding practice and one of the best teachers I could ask for." He squeezes Reki tight, just for a second. "Let me teach you back."</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"You're scared of being left behind," Langa tells him. "I refuse to let that happen. Let me help you catch up to me."</p><p>Reki chokes back another sob, but he thinks this one is more relieved than anything else. "It'll be a waste of time."</p><p>"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Langa says. </p><p>Reki sucks in a shaky breath. "Okay," he whispers. </p><p>"You could never be a waste of time to me," Langa says.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"I won't race against Adam anymore," Langa tells him. "Not if you really don't want me to."</p><p>Reki squeezes Langa back, tight. "I don't."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>They sit there for a long time, quiet, Langa's arms around Reki and Reki's face buried in Langa's chest and Reki doesn't feel so far behind anymore.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i like to think that miya and shadow had their ears pressed up against the door and were listening to that entire conversation. miya also won 500 yen because shadow bet him that they would kiss but miya knows how stupid those two are and he knows it'll be a while before they get their shit together completely</p></blockquote></div></div>
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